I love to go shopping.  I love to freak out salespeople.  They
       ask me if they can help me, and I say, "Have you got anything
       I'd like?"  Then they ask me what size I need, and I say, "Extra
       medium."

       I met this wonderful girl at Macy's.  She was buying clothes and
       I was putting Slinkies on the escalator.

       I bought my brother some gift-wrap for Christmas.  I took it to
       the Gift Wrap department and told them to wrap it, but in a
       different print so he would know when to stop unwrapping.

       --- apartments ---

       I installed a skylight in my apartment....  The people who live
       above me are furious!

       For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier...  I put
       them in the same room and let them fight it out.

       My roommate got a pet elephant.  Then it got lost.  It's in the
       apartment somewhere.

       --- museums ---

       I went to the museum where they had all the heads and arms from
       the statues that are in all the other museums.

       I like to go to art museums and name the untitled paintings...
       Boy With Pail...  Kitten On Fire.

       --- restaurants ---

       I went to a restaurant that serves "breakfast at any time".  So
       I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.

       There's a pizza place near where I live that sells only slices.
       in the back you can see a guy tossing a triangle in the air.

       --- big picture ---

       A friend of mine once sent me a post card with a picture of the
       entire planet Earth taken from space.  On the back it said,
       "Wish you were here."

       It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to have to paint it.

       Cross country skiing is great if you live in a small country.