I was walking across a bridge one day, and i saw a man standing on the edge,
 about to jump off.  so i ran over and said "stop! don't do it!"  "Why
 shouldn't
 I?" he said.  I said, "Well, there's so much to live for!"  He said, "Like
 what?"  I said, "Well...are you religious or atheist?"  He said, "Religious."
 I said, "Me too!  Are you christian or buddhist?"  He said, "Christian."  I
 said, "Me too!  Are you catholic or protestant?"  He said, "Protestant."  I
 said, "Me too!  Are you episcopalian or baptist?"  He said, "Baptist!"  I
 said,
 "Wow!  Me too!  Are you baptist church of god or baptist church of the lord?"
 He said, "Baptist church of god!"  I said, "Me too!  Are you original baptist
 church of god, or are you reformed baptist church of god?"  He said,
 "Reformed
 baptist church of god!"  I said, "Me too!  Are you reformed baptist church of
 god, reformation of 1879, or reformed baptist church of god, reformation of
 1915?"  He said, "Reformed baptist church of god, reformation of 1915!"  I
 said, "Die, heretic scum", and pushed him off.  -- Emo Phillips